Sunday, February 2, 2014

Loop.

She doesn't care for appearances, having just woken up from her sleep. Dazed. Confused by reality when it sunk in, different from her emotions a few seconds ago in her dream.

She switches the computer on, trembling. Dialing a number she had been told not to call anymore.

"Hello." Cold, nothing there. 

"Are we done?"

.."yes." 

"But we kissed in my dream and it was real" (Tell me you don't love me to my face, you coward.)

Silence. So that's it. Months of anguish and naivety, years of friendship and trust.  

She plays the same hindi song over and over and over again, letting the tears, finally flow freely down her face. She hates hindi movies, especially the one this one is from, after she finds out the plot. She has no clue what those words are saying. Not that she cares, for someone who is big on lyrics and meaning. Over and over and over again, on a loop. 

Years later, she still can't listen to that song. 

Fast forward to the present. She is surprised to find out the incomprehensible words of the song are saying "love will find a way." Haha. How silly. She wonders what her past self would say, if she had ever known.

She wants her to know, she hasn't forgotten. Only hopes she can find it in her heart to forgive her. The love she felt, she wants her to know was true. And if it means anything, she was always right.

The dream? So many years later, (then a pathetic, desperate memory) still real.

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