Mutterings*

My days are blurry, these last few weeks. Maybe they were months. I can't really remember anymore. I battle with insomnia induced by caffeinated drinks at unholy hours of the day. Once a tea drinker, now a hopeless coffee addict. I think I battle slight fits of depression and anxiety too. Who knows. I push these things aside for my life post-thesis writing. I play chess and learn arabic obsessively, anything to procrastinate writing a thesis. I have also started thinking in my dreams. My best ideas,  swear, come to me at my waking hours. Between the few feet from getting out of bed to switch the hateful alarm off, to walking to the sink to wash my face. I have allergies too. Detestable unruly runny nose, constantly sore and red from wiping. I sniffle a lot too. I am caffeinated right now, too. A mocha. Did I mention it also adds quite a bit of calories to my otherwise non exercise receiving body. My cheeks are fatter, I swear. I miss my family. I miss my grandmother who i

You smile at me across the screen Thousands of miles away And memories of a lifetime flash before me Forever grateful for this time, cherishing these random moments As our days together are numbered Cherishing every last new memory of you Knowing our days are numbered Hearing your childishly girly giggle Laughing at my silliness I chatter away, heart breaking to a million pieces Knowing you have suffered Felt excruciating pain, And I dread the next few months before us Where modern science stretches to its limits And comes to a screeching, painful halt And the natural progression of life takes over As one mother, the child of the other, watches her own mother suffer Yet, to the very end, only a mother protecting her child from the realities and inconveniences of life A disease that slowly eats away, from within The helpless grandchild, a witness from afar.. Hoping we have given you all we can As you offer your "ayusha" to me for a long life I of